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Sex and the City‘s Carrie Bradshaw is considered a fashion icon to many women, but the woman who played her says she doesn’t identify.

“It’s not an identity that I … connect to. I’m grateful if anyone says anything kind, and if they say something less kind, I take that as a part of anyone talking about you at all,” Sarah Jessica Parker told PEOPLE on Wednesday night at the Barneys New York and Walt Disney Company ‘Electric Holiday’ launch. “It’s not how I think of myself and I think it’s probably the healthier approach.”

Don’t get her wrong — the actress still appreciates a good outfit. “I love beautiful things,” she said, “and I’m privileged to borrow a beautiful dress. I feel really lucky and I genuinely enjoy it. I feel like [fashion] has a proper place in my life.”

But let’s just say you won’t catch her in a tutu at the grocery store. “It’s just not a reality — not when you have three kids and you go to the market and there are hungry people at home. You have a limited time to do it. There’s just no time to let vanity enter into that,” she said.

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